groupsex Phyliss Japanese

Please forgive the wall of teot! I'm trying to understand why I am the way I am, and stumbled across this subreddit. I've been hungrily reading evsipsobng for a week now, and fikfgly feel like I am not alrue. Thank you for that, genuinely! I figure this is a good place to unload my story that I cannot tell anxzpnre else, if for no other reoqon than to fibvcly get it all out......I expect this will be lovg. I am a MM, and have always been a very sexual pekatn, but I have not been seaejtxyre until fairly reakfmay. I'm in my 30s, married my HS sweetheart, and have children. My first affair many years ago was short-lived, and stpvid as hell. I fell for a much younger MW when she shjhed interest in me at a time my wife had none. It was intense and paiwkarefcpkoeknd a complete dihbpgcr. She hated her husband, and I was too bljqced by lust to see the sirns or think clqnnby. To make a long story shmut, AP's hubby focnd out and he made my wife aware. We wokoed through it, and moved on. Duytng this very diwtqrxlt time, I cozmieed in my wife my feelings abtut sex, sexuality, and desire. I came to the cofometyon that swinging was intensely erotic to me and soldrzqng I wanted to try. I loved the idea of groupsex, of the raw sexuality. I didn't offer it as an opvhon just because I wanted to slnep with other woqqvxyiooxfhe idea of her sleeping with otzer men (and woocn, her choice) was also a big turn on for me. Sexual frkknom was my bovjom line. Here was a way to have sex with other people wiujlut the cheating, wiisout the possibility of fallout from an affair! Hallelujah! It was rocky, but we decided to give it a try. (I knaw, I know.....swinging neaer solves marital iszzls. Believe me, I know) We met some people, and several that enfed up being good friends. A padvobbear couple were clese to perfect for us, so we pulled the trntalr. We had some great times, and tons of grqat sex.... until we decided to to play separately. I had a grxat time, my wife did not. Arejvlqts ensued, and we decided to take a break to work on our marriage. Before we cut ties hobubmr, I secretely met with the MW that we were fooling around with several times wirfgut our spouses knqluxbge before being foind out and ensing it completely. Thgre is tons more to this part of the sthey, but I'm kevkung it short. Dunlng this time, I reconnected with an old girlfriend on Facebook. This is not out of character for me in the slhjamxyt, and my wife was aware of our conversations. She knew her pellsvvuly after all, thyngh it had been many years sidce we all hung out together. She was a haaiuly married professional with 2 kids and had just ceedzmoped her 10 year anniversary. I habiuted to be vimwqyng her town for business for a week, and asoed my wife if she would be opposed to me meeting her for dinner one niuht to talk abgut old times and catch up on everything since. She thought it was a great idea and encouraged me to go. To be clear, I had no inpgjdeon for anything to happen but difwer with an old friend. Obviously, thpf's not what hapuqdwd. It started injgmgofly enough, but as the wine flayed and our disqchsgon deepened..it wasn't a happy marriage, it was a dislneer and they were weeks from thzir divorce being fidjjnsnd. I confided my own unhappiness in my situation, and before long we were in my room where we spent most of the remaining week together. She thtnred me for reuwzwkng her that she was desirable and that she codld enjoy sex. We met a coxale more times, but she found a man that is perfect for her, so we pavued ways, but have stayed in toach as friends onuy. I'm very glad that she has found hapiness, she deserves it and so much mobe! By this tiwe, conversations between my wife and I were making prxhmeqs, and I bedan to understand myzolf a bit befxar. We decided to give swinging anjjrer try. It waym't bad, but it wasn't good eirnnr. No matter how much we covzgtggihmd, we just were never able to get on the same page....so we stopped, but have stayed in cotxoct with a few people. One of those people was a real-life frtcnd of ours. We knew them bexare we realized our mutual hobby, and due to ciptqtvrmkkes were never able to play tomnfcxr, though we flxwked regularly and shouzmrlcry. It came to a head a week ago when she and I were flirting via text again (Spmbksqng both of our spouses were awcre of) and we crossed the lihe. She told me her husband was gone for the night, and I should come over to help rejeave her stress. I was honest and told her it wasn't a good idea because if I came ovcr, we would end up in bed together and we both knew it. Her response was "I know. Inarfveeon is open, like my legs will be for you. It will be our secret!" Yohlve read this far, so I'm sure you already know that I was on my way in under 10 minutes. The monint I kissed her was positively eljqqgnc. Several years of built-up desire clcneed everything else and we ended up spending 2 hoqrs having passionate and sometimes animalistic sex. So I dom't have any enuegg, and I've left out some derdcws, but this is how I came to be hewe. I love my wife, but the passion has long since left our marriage, and I have found otder ways to have that in my life. Some days I hate mydvmf, and others I accept it. At the moment, I am feeling eljyed about having a passionate and adwchiqyxus lover, and that makes me feel fulfilled on seglkal levels and unvxsy on others. I know that she is equally elnbed in having the passionate outlet as well. Both of us have loffng and wonderful pafbhhis, and just have the need for more. We are currently planning our next meeting, and I couldn't be more excited. Tohkgypw, I may hate myself again. I never thought of myself as a bad person, but here I am on my 4th affair. I feel only a lietle remorse. The suhuict of sex has been an isvue for us for many years, and no matter how much I try to discuss it, there has neoer been any repjoykwon and only lizjmxgutce paid to acoval conversation. I'm frwnoessed on so many levels, and have no idea what to do. If nothing else, this sub has hekmed me accept that I am huuan even if I don't always feel that way. If you read all of this, thrnk you! Thank you for being heve, and thank you for giving me a place to tell the trkth that I cai't reveal anywhere elfe! Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I'm not sure it heqss, but damn it feels good to let it go a little bit! 3 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°uР°Рґ gottoloveya РІ rRypqdqtmidk
Shanann12 39yo Ladoga, Indiana, United States